Title:Free fall
Written by: Mariah.Leuta
Today is Olivia’s 12th birthday. Her mum Sue decided to go skydiving for Olivia’s birthday.
P1: “Olivia (daughter of Sue and sister of Noah) since your party is finished, I decided to take you somewhere for your 12th birthday. But it’s a surprise. What a surprise I love surprises. Come on. Said mum (Sue). Noah (Brother) blocks your sister's eyes so she doesn't pink. Mum I want pink. Still I know you will... Find... 5 minutes later. Come on come on. And open your eyes. (Olivia screaming). Noo Skydiving. Mum is this the Surprise. Yes and I see you like it. No I do not like... I love it. Yaaay come lets go inside. Hello how may I help you (Owner of skydiving company). It is my daughter Olivia's 12th birthday. Ohhhhhh ok Happy Birthday Olivia. Thank you. So how much does it cost? $562$. What... To be continued
P2: What... We cannot afford that kind of money.sorry baby but we can't do it today.No worries mum it's alright I'll have it next year. Mum I can use my money that I saved up last year for Birthday. It was about $795 dollars I have in my bank account. Olivia you can have a birthday just like you wanted it. You can finally skydive. Yaaaay thank you Noah. It's fine come on let's go.First things you need to do for skydiving is safety.
Wear a jumpsuit
Wear goggles
Wear helnet
Wear shoes that will not fall off.
Skydiving with a professional skydiving person
Practice before you go to the plane.
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ReplyDelete"wow" mariah your story was very interesting and you have added some detail about how to skydive and the safety gear that you have wear to skydive. But next time please add at least 5 more paragraphs
ReplyDeleteI like your writing also how list the things of what your supposed to do and wear. But maybe next time you could finish all 5 paragraphs
ReplyDeleteyour story is interesting but put more effort in next time
ReplyDeleteGreat job Mariah I really liked the way you listed the things they need maybe next time you could write 5 paraghraphs
ReplyDeletewow nice next time use detail and headings also more paragraphs
ReplyDeleteI have not achieved you goal next time I could do 5 paragraph in the next writing.Next goal is to finish am work.
ReplyDeleteBY:MARIAH_LEUTA_676